My Divorced Wife Refuses to Cooperate

Q: I’ve been divorced for about a year and I can’t get my ex to cooperate with me on anything that has to do with our kids. She seems much more interested in punishing me than in working together. Is there anything I can do to make the mother of my children change?

A: Communication and cooperation are supposed to be two-way streets, but things don’t always turn out the way they should. No matter how much of a jerk your ex is and no matter how horribly she treats you, it’s critical that you learn to be a mensch (that’s a Yiddish word that means “a decent human being” or “someone who does the right thing”). Here are some things that can help make you the mensch you and your kids need you to be:


Ultimately, no matter what you do, your ex is still her own person and there’s nothing you can do to force her to behave the way your want her to. But hopefully, if she sees you taking the high road for long enough, she’ll eventually decide to join you there.

Armin Brott



A great dad himself, Armin speaks not only as a specialist in parenting, but as a parent himself. He has written several books including The Expectant Father and Fathering Your Toddler.

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