My kids will only eat three foods and two of them are macaroni and cheese.
—Rachel Ruina
Be nice to your children. After all, they’re going to choose your nursing home.
—Steven Wright
The real menace in dealing with a 5-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a 5-year-old. —Jean Kerr
Familiarity breeds contempt—and children. —Mark Twain
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying. —Fran Lebowitz
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. —Dennis Fakes
If you don’t want your children to hear what you’re saying, pretend you’re talking to them. —E. McKenzie
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. —Lane Olinghouse